What Body Language tells us!

We may say one thing but sometimes our body language sends a completely different message. Here are some of the ways that gestures can reveal what we're really thinking.

Arm's length

Arms are like emotional shields that can protect us by setting up a barrier between ourselves and a perceived harm. They may feel comforting, but they signal to others that we are defensive, unwilling to hear what's being said, uncomfortable or disapproving.

Arms crossed over chest – you’re trying to separate yourself from something you don’t like.
Arms crossed and fists clenched – “I’m really ticked off.”
Placing your hands on your hips, with elbows pointing outward ‘ you’re feeling assertive, possibly angry, too.
Holding your hands behind your back – you’re confident and in charge.

Hands up

There are more nerve connections between the brain and the hands than any other part of our body. Maybe that’s why they’re such an important element of social interaction. We shake hands, wave, give the ‘thumbs up’ sign and ‘talk’ with our hands. But sometimes our hands provide clues to our feelings without our knowing it. Here are some common hand signals:

Displaying your hands, especially the palms – you’re open and sincere.
Thrusting your hands deep in your pockets – "I don’t want to talk."
Pressing your fingertips together – you’re feeling in control.
Touching your nose repeatedly – could mean you’re lying.
Supporting your head with your hand – ‘I’m bored.’
Stroking your leg, neck or throat with your hand – feeling flirtatious.

Touchy subject

Some of the most powerful body language comes from touching. While it can be interpreted as an invasion of personal space, when used sensitively, touching creates an unconscious connection. That’s because people enjoy being touched. Waitresses who lightly touch their patrons have been shown to get more tips than those who don’t.

Try this: next time you want to make a point or create a favourable impression, touch a person you know gently on the arm. This kind of touch has been shown to elicit positive feelings, especially in cultures that are less ‘touchy feely.’

Best foot forward

Our legs and feet tend to point in the direction we’d like to be going and can give us away because we’re often completely unaware of what they are doing. Be aware of the signals you could be sending (or receiving) at your next dinner party!

Twining one leg around the other – you’re feeling shy and reticent or flirtatious!
Locking ankles – you’re uncertain or nervous.
You pull your feet under your chair – you feel withdrawn from the conversation.
One or both feet point into the speaking circle – you’re interested in the conversation.
You point one foot toward another person – they’re interesting, and possibly a real hottie.
Leg or foot pointing toward the door – ‘I can’t wait to leave.’

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