Great Expectations for Relationships |
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What do you get when you put together a couple, kids, family pet(s), work, school, activities, extended family and community commitments under one roof?...a crazy schedule that leaves little time to remember what it was like to be a couple and have fun. Today’s lifestyle certainly has its effects on relationships!
60 per cent of Canadians cannot balance work and family demands as modern technologies, such as the iPhone and Blackberry have created 24/7 availability. It is so easy to lose sight of your happiness and your partners when caught up in this busy schedule called life.
The Super Wife is expected to:
Be employed to contribute to the household income
Keep the home clean and beautiful
Keep the cupboards stocked and make nutritious cost effective meals for the family
Organize the details for the children’s schedules, (clothing, taxi, cleaning, studying, sports/music/interest activities, doctor/dentist visits, daycare)
Contribute to the community by volunteering
Keep up a fitness routine to set a healthy example
Have enough energy to go to bed at night and be playful
While the Super Husband is expected to:
Obtain a decent career to support the family
Juggle career demands by bringing work home at night, working extra hours and taking business trips.
Keep up the house and yard maintenance (honey-do list)
Get involved with the children’s activities such as coaching a team.
Support organizations to be a good community citizen
Maintain a fitness routine
Communicate feelings with your wife and keep up with her needs
No wonder we have seen 40 per cent of Ontario marriages ending in divorce. Small consistent changes can make a huge difference. You can start with these five steps:
Communicate - Stop all shame, blame, and criticism. Instead ask for what you want in a clear, specific, and positive manner, and express appreciation for your partner. This will provide your partner an opportunity to learn about what makes you happy.
Make a Date – All relationships grow a bit stale as time goes by, and the longer-lasting they are, the staler they can get. The best thing you can do is pump in some fresh air. Schedule a date night at least once a month along with the occasional intimate retreat would be ideal. It won’t happen unless you pencil it in and take the time to fuel your love tank.
Play Together – Choose activities that encourage playfulness by joining a team or club, signing up for a course or inviting other couples over for a games night.
Lightn-up - Change from a critical habit of mind, in which you're very involved with your partner's mistakes, to a positive one, in which you catch them doing something right. Notice one small thing, and express genuine appreciation. Find a way to laugh more which has been proven to boost your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health.
Time Out – Ensure to take time for yourself to do the things that make you happy, your joyfulness rubs off on everyone around you.
A strong partnership in life also provides the strength to deal with the other demands we face. We have someone who understands, listens and supports us. Creating that safe net takes time and the courage to open up and share our deepest fears and desires. When we get really clear on what we want, then we can take the steps to get there. So take time to invest in your happiness and your relationship…it just may turnout priceless. As my wise uncle used to say, “A happy wife is a happy life!”
Karen Armstrong, Communication Specialist and Jacquie Hermans, Laughter Therapist, are preparing for the 3rd annual Ultimate Intimacy Retreat to help couples re-ignite their passion and playfulness with effective communication and lots of laughs. For details and registration go to www.in-side-out.com
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