-By Bob Littell

Group newsletter: "The NetWeaver's Law of Referral Reciprocity" - also why your NetWeaving doesn't always come back around.

 What is a ‘referral’? In a NetWeaving context, a referral is a favorable introduction you make to benefit someone else. Referrals are at the very heart of any sales person’s career, but they apply just as much to success in almost any field. The fact that someone is willing to introduce and recommend you to someone else means they are assuming a risk, and for them to do so, implies trust has been established.

Making a referral typically involves bringing two persons together – the person you are referring. . .and the person to whom you are referring them. And since a major part of NetWeaving involves being ‘connector’ of others, simply with the belief that ‘what goes around, does come back around’, my “NetWeaver’s Law of Referral Reciprocity” translates into: ‘the more you refer others, the more you will be referred’. The more you introduce persons to each other, the more you will be introduced to others.

But there are several “IF’s” which one must understand and accept in order for ‘referral reciprocity’ to work.

The first ‘if’ for ‘referral reciprocity’ to operate is that you must make sure you are genuinely “NetWeaving” and not still networking. In other words, if you imply or come right out and say that you’re expecting the person for whom you’ve made a connection, to return the favor or to help you in some other way, you are defeating the whole idea and purpose behind NetWeaving. Also, when done this way, the other person feels much less of an obligation to return the favor.

The second ‘if’ involves the person for whom you are making a referral. In an overly simplistic sense, the world is made up of ‘givers’ and ‘takers’. A ‘taker’ tends to be someone who is more self-centered and when you help a taker, they generally feel no obligation to return the favor. There are some persons who NetWeave for a taker (i.e. refer them to someone), and keeping doing it over and over again, and then wonder why they never see any benefits coming back around.

The third ‘if’ pertains to a less-than-admirable aspect of human nature. When someone makes an introduction to someone for our benefit, and assuming it’s a very good fit, we tend to take ‘ownership’ of that new relationship. Over time, we often lose sight of ‘the girl who brought us to the dance’, and we forget, that had this person not made the initial connection, none of the good things which have since occurred would have happened. Therefore the third ‘if’ means: ‘IF' you follow back up, a month or so after having made the original introduction. Often the response will be: “Wow, I’m sorry I hadn’t reported back to you and to thank you for that introduction you made to ‘(name of person)’. I really owe you a big favor in return”. And your initial introduction may have led to a second introduction where the real 'Home Run' is hit. Following up is critical IF you want to benefit from your NetWeaving.

Finally, assuming you are genuinely NetWeaving and not networking, and you are focused on ‘referring’ persons you believe to be more of a ‘giver’ than a ‘taker’, and you have followed up to check on outcomes of connections you make, there is still one other “if” barrier to mastering ‘reciprocal referability’. As noted earlier, referring someone means the person making the referral assumes a risk if things don’t turn out well. Therefore in order for you to be ‘referable’ and for the NetWeaver’s Law of Referral Reciprocity to really work, you must be viewed as competent and qualified by your referral source. Absent this, and you may refer and refer, and not see anything come back around, or you may be thrown a very low-risk and low level introduction referral.

Even better than being viewed as competent and qualified, is being seen by others as ‘exceptional’, ‘phenomenal’, ‘remarkable’, or any term that implies that you have developed the ‘WOW’ factor. You should consistently looking for ways to make people look at you differently – so that an introduction of you to someone else – is almost sure to reflect positively on the person making the referral.

What is different or unique about you or your business, or your company? What could YOU be doing differently, or above and beyond what anyone else in your capacity does? And this can apply just as much to the janitor who leaves a sticker with his name and a cell phone number to report any time one of his rest rooms has been left untidy, as with a top sales rep who studies interests and hobbies of existing and potential clients and consistently surprises them with something he/she finds to be in line with their interests.

The NetWeaver’s Law of Referral Reciprocity is alive and well, so long as you are constantly looking for ways to differentiate yourself and make yourself more unique. We can all help each other in groups or individually by brainstorming ideas and ways to do so and part of NetWeaving has gravitated toward ‘creativity workshops’ or brain-storming sessions during which we all think outside the 9 dots and suggest ways for someone to differentiate themselves and/or their business.

Bob Littell, Chief NetWeaver
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